The Challenges and the Benefits to Writing and Reading.

Obviously if you read my blog you know that I'm a 12-year-old who is hooked on reading, writing, and the whole English language, basically.  I grew up on books.  I grew up looking up to my older siblings, through their high school and college experiences and looking at the way their English papers were carefully typed out and the way their books were covered in a rainbow of annotations. I've always loved the whole reading and writing thing—ask anyone.  My mom's computer is filled with endless Microsoft Word documents of stories I started but never finished.  I did get around to writing a complete novel—exactly 44 chapters--when I was 10 years old.  It was about a bunch of girls who went on a quest to stop evil demons from attacking Fairyland.  Yes, this is a typical 10-year-old subject but I worked really hard on that novel.  I still have the manuscript somewhere under the dust in my room.  And reading? I'm never NOT reading a book.  If you see me and say, "Hey Annie, what are you reading these days?" my answer is never vague.  I will look at you straight in the eye (something that has always been annoyingly difficult for me to manage) and respond seriously.  If I didn't have books to read I don't know what my place on this earth would be.  

Lately, though, all of this has become challenging.  I'm now old enough to read (most) of the things that my siblings and parents do.  I can now participate in discussions with my family that I couldn't just last summer.  When I was younger I would stare off into space as my family discussed something that didn't concern me. Now I jump into the discussions and it feels like they're actually listening to what I'm saying and taking it into their minds.  I try to be as witty as I can but it feels like it's not enough.  My brother and sister are now in their twenties (my brother in his mid-late, my sister in her early-mid). My other brother is nearly 18.  As they go do things that normal people that age will do, here I am stuck at age 12, feeling panicked because I can't publish a book or do great things with my writing.  I have my blog and my books.  i feel content reviewing the books I read and being 12; not really worrying about being successful.  I have to remind myself every day that I'm 12 years old. I'm not 26, 23, or even 18.  

My conclusion is that writing is only easy if you make it easy.  If you sit at the computer wringing your hands because you supposedly have "writers block" like I often do and if your mom is telling you, "Don't worry, it'll come to you soon enough," then you need to just sit down and write.  Fewer and fewer documents on the computer are saved each month.  I know that I need to regain the excitement I had about writing just a few years ago.  Sometimes my sentences don't fit together and they sound clumsy and stupid. You've probably noticed that by reading my blog. But a good writer needs to be gritty and tough and honest (or a complete liar). Things I will be soon. Someday. 

So I've decided something. One thing.  I'm going to keep up with writing.  Through the rest of middle school. Through high school and college. Through my life. Because something tells me I was born to read and write and though that may sound overly dramatic or a bit strange, I know everything was meant to be.

If you have any words of wisdom for me, whether you're 12 like me, a teenager, or an adult, I would love to hear it.  It would mean so much to me :)